How can I celebrate Christmas if my heart is suffering?

As Christmas approaches, we can run a risk, even if we are Christians: believing that it is the celebration of “happy” people, of those who love to cook, sing, or simply spend cheerful time with relatives and friends.

And what if we are going through a difficult time?

If we are going through a difficult time, we might think that this year Christmas “has nothing to do with us.” It is often said that the holiday season is very difficult for those going through a painful phase of life, which may be bereavement, the loss of a job, an illness, the end of a relationship, a disappointment in the family or in friendship. Life is dotted with small and great crosses: we may feel so tired, crushed by life, or empty that we experience nothing but terrible irritation toward Christmas. If we find ourselves in this situation, however, we should know that Jesus is born precisely for us now more than ever: Christmas, in fact, is the celebration of those who grope in the dark but still seek the Light.

The Lord's Christmas is much more than the “Christmas spirit”

Perhaps we fail to understand the true meaning of Christmas: all around us, those organizing the Christmas lunch are busy with preparations, the streets fill with people intent on buying gifts, advertisements and shops are tinged with red, and being happy during this period seems almost obligatory. Otherwise, you are out of step. If you do not wear the reindeer sweater, if you do not post the Christmas tree, you are excluded from the Christmas spirit and the magic. And no: magic is not for everyone. How, for example, could a mother who has just lost a child not feel even greater pain when she sees lights coming on everywhere? It will suffer even more: it is inevitable. If Christmas is this, anyone would run away if they were going through a difficult time. How? By shutting themselves away at home and in their own torment; letting others celebrate; anxiously waiting for this period to pass and for the world to turn gray again as before, at least for everyone.

Yet there is another way…

We can make a different choice: truly welcome the birth of the Lord, Jesus, a child-God who becomes small precisely to pass through the cracks of my shattered heart. Christmas is not choosing between Pandoro and Panettone; it is recognizing that God has entered history and today wants to enter my life, to change it, to turn water into wine, to bring consolation where no one else can.

Have you ever experienced God?

Have you ever known God, who becomes human to serve, to make his real presence felt, sweet and strong at the same time? Have you ever encountered him? Because God is alive. He is not a little statue, nor is he lost somewhere in the Universe. He is alive. Here. Now. For you. This is what we celebrate at Christmas: God with us, Emmanuel. God-with-us, not “so to speak,” but truly. It means that he wants to live everything that happens to you with you. So, do you consider him your first confidant? “He doesn’t listen anyway,” “Well, if he existed, he wouldn’t have allowed this tragedy,” “I don’t deserve to be heard,” “I have lost my faith”: how many reasons we can have for not kneeling before that little child!

If you want it to truly be Christmas, try.

Give yourself a real gift, for once. Leave the house or the shop, where you went only to conform to what society demands at this time of year, and enter a church. Perhaps you will find a nativity scene. Hand your burden to that child. Cry with him: God is not afraid of your tears and, above all, they do not leave him indifferent. Then pause before the tabernacle: Jesus is there; his heart beats, loving and aching, in the Eucharist. For you. He awaits you, to give you the light that truly illuminates, to change anguish into true peace, to show you the way, even if all you can see is a road interrupted forever.

He lives, and he wants to give that same life to you. If you truly seek him, your most hateful Christmas could become the most intense and genuine Christmas. Don’t think about sweets and decorations if you don’t feel like it. That is not what is essential. But open your heart to Jesus. You will experience that he truly “comes down from the stars”: not to remain confined to the notes of a song, but to sing within you.