The power of a love that generates
There is a beautiful and powerful call to become fathers and mothers. This call consists in sharing with God the power of a love that generates life, in body and spirit.
The journey toward holiness undertaken by a father or mother passes through the growth of their mutual love and the love they give to their children.
The call to be fathers and mothers will last throughout life and in every circumstance. The love of a man and a woman is always fruitful, even when there are no children or when parents grow old. Spouses can, in fact, always bring forth children of God.
In their being fathers and mothers lies their personal journey toward holiness; let us discover it through the words of Pope Francis taken from Amoris Laetitia.
A merciful and compassionate love
In the Book of Exodus, the Lord reveals the quality of his love to Moses: “The Lord, the Lord, a merciful and gracious God, slow to anger and rich in love and faithfulness, maintaining his love for a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin” (Ex 34,6-7).
The two Hebrew terms for “merciful” and “compassionate” are raham and hesed. Both mean love and mercy, but with important differences that help us understand the path to holiness through the love of a father and a mother.
Ḥesed is the term most often used in the Old Testament to denote mercy and love. It is a tenderness marked by faithfulness, security, and trust; it is a love that affirms and accompanies, does not abandon, remains steadfast, and provides security.
Raḥam comes from “rehem”, which in Hebrew refers to the womb, the place where a child’s life is formed and grows: it is a love that forms the body, safeguards, protects, nourishes, and welcomes another person’s existence.
Here, two dimensions of God’s love are revealed to us: the paternal-masculine and the maternal-feminine. Masculine love is imbued with a tender yet powerful, active energy; feminine love, on the other hand, generates, builds, and nourishes from a visceral bond. Mom and dad embody this love for their children: “Both man and woman, father and mother… show their children the maternal and paternal face of the Lord” (Amoris laetitia 174).
Being a mother
Being a mother does not simply mean giving birth to a child; it is the choice to give oneself, to give life.
«A society without mothers would be a dehumanized society, because mothers always know how to bear witness, even in the worst moments, to tenderness, dedication, and moral strength. Mothers often also transmit the deepest meaning of religious practice: in the first prayers and the first acts of devotion that a child learns, the value of faith in the life of a human being is inscribed. It is a message that believing mothers know how to transmit without many explanations: those will come later, but the seed of faith lies in those first, precious moments. Without mothers, not only would there be no new believers, but faith would lose much of its simple and profound warmth» (Amoris laetitia 174).
Being a father
The figure of the father is just as significant as that of the mother: «A father, with a clear and joyful masculine identity, who in his relationship with his wife combines affection and welcome, is just as necessary as maternal care. […] The clear and well-defined presence of both figures, feminine and masculine, creates the most suitable environment for the child’s maturation» (Amoris laetitia 175).
«God places the father in the family so that, with the precious qualities of his masculinity, he may be close to his wife, sharing everything, joys and sorrows, labors and hopes. And so that he may be close to his children as they grow […]. Children need to find a father who awaits them when they return from their failures. […] It is not good for children to remain without fathers and thus stop being children before their time» (Amoris laetitia 177).
Realizing motherhood and fatherhood in a very generous way
Even when «many married couples cannot have children […] motherhood […] is expressed in different ways» (Amoris laetitia 178). There is, for example, the possibility of adoption, which «is a way of realizing motherhood and fatherhood in a very generous way… To adopt is an act of love, giving a family to someone who does not have one» (Amoris laetitia 179). Choosing adoption is not a secondary type of bond, nor is it a fallback option; rather, it is among the highest forms of love and fatherhood and motherhood.
The mission of the family entails this openness to life, in the spirit of the welcome and care that can give meaning to the couple’s love and hope to those who need parental love.
Points for reflection for the couple/family
• Let us reread Pope Francis’s words and reflect on our being fathers or our being mothers.
• The love of spouses is fruitful also in generating children of God, in being spiritual fathers and mothers to their own children and to every person we encounter, giving them the tender, welcoming, steadfast, secure love of God the Father. Who are the spiritual children God entrusts to us at this moment in our lives?
