If you find yourself in a moment of absolute darkness, when everything around you seems meaningless; if life has shown you only its harshest side so far and you don’t know how to react; if you find yourself in a tunnel of pain that may be called drugs, alcohol... or any other name you wish to give it, reading the story of Paolo Di Fiore may do you good, because Paolo has experienced firsthand that it is possible to climb back out of hell, that a new life is possible. Here is his testimony.

Paolo, how did you become addicted to drugs?

My path toward drugs began with a father who was never truly a father: we moved from Naples to Milan when my brother and I were children, and my father was in and out of prison; when he was home, I witnessed him abusing my mother and suffered his violence myself. I grew up in this desert of love, so when I was offered drugs for the first time, it didn’t take me even a second to answer “yes”—and it was a yes that cost me dearly.

How did you experience the years when you were addicted to drugs?

I don’t have many memories of that period: drugs and the means to get them. That’s all. An addict has no other thought, and to get a dose, they’re willing to do anything.

When did the desire to be reborn, to free yourself, begin?

The last time I was arrested, I had hit rock bottom. At the fast-track trial, the court-appointed lawyer couldn’t do much. That was the situation, but strangely, my first positive thought in a long time came to me: I immediately told myself that this was the moment to get out of it. This time or never! It was my chance, and I decided to seize it. It’s strange how, at the most unexpected moments, you find just enough strength to make the choices that change your life: I was tired of that life and simply decided to get out of it.

What role did faith play in this journey back to life?

Faith and my return to the Church were fundamental, and it began through meeting a girl. She convinced me to go back to church and, after a while, I was able to go to confession. Of that confession, which lasted an entire afternoon, I remember letting myself go like a child. For me, it meant finding trust where mistrust had ruled, experiencing serenity where anger had always been the force keeping me alive, and finally savoring the beauty of something clean after years spent in evil, in ugliness. “I did wrong, I lived badly, in evil,” I said. “It doesn’t matter, it’s all in the past, now you are here!” That is what I heard. And in that embrace, I happily let myself go. I wept, lighthearted, like a child…

What is your life like now?

I work as a laborer, but above all I am an “involuntary” at Medjugorje. It all began with that small convoy in August 2000, which welcomed me as an “involuntary,” so to speak. I like this image - not my own - of the “involuntary,” which seems to represent well the life unfolding before my eyes.
That convoy was the, as it were, “involuntary” encounter with a group of good people gathered around the initial idea of filling a van and setting off for Bosnia, which was then at war. And they were not leaving to head toward a conflict, but to bring help.

Even today I continue to return to that land to offer help, and I feel alive, reborn, because I have experienced the beauty of being forgiven and understood the importance of forgiving, of freeing the heart from resentment.
In this account of a journey to hell - the hell of drugs - and back, Paolo tells his story without shame or false modesty, and that is why his words are so captivating: they have the power of lived experience!
Paolo is the author, together with Gianluigi Castelletti, of the book: From Violence to Drugs, from Forgiveness to Peace, a new release from Shalom.

If Paolo managed to change his life, you can do it too: whatever your situation, always remember that you can find a helping hand to turn to and, from there, slowly begin to climb back up!