This article would like to reach those who are experiencing and living through the excruciating pain of losing a child, like a caress that continues to speak of life and hope, despite everything.
When Pope Francis met the Talità Kum group, made up of parents struck by this immense tragedy, he offered them words that spoke of truth, of life lived and suffered—not banal platitudes, but a “caress” for the heart and “open arms” embracing their pain.
First of all, he described the pain of losing a child as “piercing and inexplicable” and strongly rejected the “banal religious or sentimental words, sterile encouragements or empty platitudes” that end up hurting even more those who battle a hard inner struggle every day. “We must not slip into the attitude of Job’s friends,” he warned, rejecting pitiful attempts to justify suffering or resort to sterile religious theories.
God walks beside us
God’s response to this immeasurable pain is not a speech or a theory, but his closeness, his walking alongside those who suffer. Like Jesus, who allowed himself to be touched by our pain, walked the same path as us, and does not leave us alone, but frees us from the burden that weighs us down by carrying it for us and with us.
Prayer: a light in the darkness
In this darkness, Pope Francis points to a thin but tenacious thread to cling to: prayer. A cry addressed to God at every moment, even when words fail. Lacerating questions such as “Why, Lord? Why did this happen to me? Why did you not intervene? Where are you?” do not resolve the tragedy, but they are salutary because they force us to delve into a painful memory and mourn the loss, becoming the first step of the plea and opening us to receive the consolation and inner peace that the Lord never fails to give. “There is nothing worse than silencing pain, putting a silencer on suffering.”
The Gospel reminds us of the story of Jairus’s father. Faced with the news of his daughter’s death, Jesus does not give up, but says: “Do not be afraid; only have faith!” He continues walking with that grief-stricken father, enters his home, filled with death, and, taking the girl by the hand, restores her to life. We must always remember that Christian hope assures us that death does not have the final word.
A useful and precious book for sustaining hope and nourishing the pain of separation through prayer is The Last Journey… on Tiptoe. With meditations and prayers on the mystery of death, it offers support when a child or loved one dies, helping us live the beginning of a new relationship of communion through reflection and prayer.
The Lord comforts
This is the message of hope that Pope Francis wants to sow in the hearts of these parents: “The Lord does not leave anyone without consolation”. In response to their tears and questions, he gives them the certainty that He takes those children who are no longer with us by the hand to help them rise: “And it is beautiful to think that your daughters and sons, like Jairus’s daughter, were taken by the hand by the Lord; and that one day you will see them again, embrace them again, and rejoice in their presence in a new light that no one will be able to take away from you.”
Then the cross will be seen through the eyes of the resurrection, as it was for Mary and the Apostles. That hope, which blossomed on Easter morning, is what the Lord wants to nurture in their hearts, even amid their tears.
Let us conclude with the same wish and invitation from Pope Francis not to lose hope and to not extinguish “the joy of living”, feeling the embrace of God, who accompanies us and never leaves us alone.
